[Sample] Into the Light

            Everything hurt so much. When was Damian going to quit? Simone closed her eyes trying welcome the blackness that threatened to consume her. Finally it overwhelmed her and the pain stopped.

            When she reopened her eyes, everything was white and fuzzy and she couldn’t see much. “Wh-where… Am… I?”

            “I’m not sure. I think it’s a limbo of sorts.”

            Is that…? “Wh-who said that?” She turned and looked around, but could still see nothing.

            “Who do you think?” Whoever it was gently put his hands on her shoulders.

            “B-but you…” Tears filled her eyes and spilled over. “You’re dead. We buried you… Please. I’ve been in enough pain. Whoever you are. Don’t toy with me.”

            “I’m not toying. Turn and look, if you don’t believe me, Sima.”

            Simone gasped. “Only one person knows that name…” She turned. “Is it really you, Zeke? How can it be?”

             Zeke smiled and hugged her. “Yes, it is. Though, I don’t know how.”

            She cried into his chest. “I’ve missed you so much! Everything has seemed dull without you. Why did you leave me?”

            “I’ve missed you too. Oh, Sima. I didn’t want to leave you.” He lifted her chin to look into her eyes. “If I could’ve done anything to stay with you, I would have.”

            She looked away and wiped her eyes. “I know, I know. I just…”

            “It’s alright. Come on; let’s go talk for a while until it’s time for you to go back.” Zeke took her hand and led her to patch of grass underneath a tree, the only noticeable landscape in the place.

            “Go back? Can’t I stay here? With you?” She sat next to him and leaned against him with her head on his chest.

            “No, Simone. You can’t stay here. This place isn’t for the living.”

            “Then how am I here?”

            “I’m not sure…” A thoughtful frown crossed his face.

            Simone lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “I don’t want to go back, Zeke. It hurts there. Everything hurts.”

            “You’re needed there, Simone. You can get through the pain to help someone you love.” He smiled and caressed her face. “I’ve seen it myself.”

            She closed her eyes. “But you’re the only one I love.”

            “It’s been three years, Sima. You haven’t moved on yet? There isn’t anyone you care for?”

            She looked away. “I… I… He reminds me of you… But I can’t… It’s not fair to him...”

            “What’s happening there? Right now?”

            Simone spoke quietly into her lap. “I… We tried to escape that place. We got a lot of boats… And supplies… It took months to prepare. And we almost made it, too. Someone betrayed us. Hundreds of kids… We almost had them out of there… I jumped up and tried to release the blockade. But as I did, Damian caught me. He had that electric stick of his and threatened to kill me if any of them left. I told them to go, that it was worth it. He hurt me for every boat that passed through. I tried not to scream… But it hurt so much... I told them to go… But Justin. He wouldn’t leave me. I begged him to go… I… I… Don’t remember any more. I think I blacked out.”

            “See, Sima? You’re needed there. You have to go back to help the rest of them get free.”

            “But it’s safe here! I want to stay here and be with you. I missed you so much…” She put her hand on his face. “And there’s so much pain there.”

            “I want you to stay too. But there’s still much left for you to finish.” Zeke gently moved her hand from his face and looked at it. “Look, you’re starting to go back as it is.”

            She looked at her hand as well. It was fading, becoming transparent and then solid again. Simone held his hand, trying to root herself to this place. “No… I don’t want to go, Zeke. Please don’t make me go.”

            “I don’t have control over that, Sima. Let’s just be thankful we got to spend some time together.” He smiled gently.

            Her eyes filled with tears. The pain was coming back too. “I can go there… and then come back here. It wouldn’t be too hard, I—”

            “No.” His voice was firm. “I want you to live your life. I want you to be happy. Do whatever you need to do in order to be happy.”

            “You. I need you in order to be happy. Without you… Life has just been a haze.” She gestured vaguely in the air. “Going through the motions.”

            Zeke shifted positions so that he was facing her directly and gently took her hands in his. “One more year. I want you to try just one more. Honestly try, with everything you are, to be happy. Understand, Sima? With everything. If the year is up and you are still unhappy, then… Well, then you can come.” He looked into her eyes and could practically see the wheels in her brain turning, looking for some way to twist his words. “But you have to truly try, do you understand? No loop holes. No tricks.”

            She swallowed. “But I…” She stopped and sighed. “If that’s what you truly want… Then I will… I will try… But I doubt that it will do any good…”

            “Maybe not, but as long as you try.” Zeke touched her face again. “You’re fading. It’s time to go back now. I love you, Simone.”

            She tried to hold back the tears. “I love you too, Zeke. So much.”

            He drew her close and kissed her. But even as she kissed him back, she was fading.

            And then she was gone.

            “Find a way to be happy, Sima. Even if that means you don’t come back to me.”

[Ugh, the romance almost sickens me. And I wrote the thing. xD 

Anyway, this was written, I think, two years ago? Almost three. It takes place right after a dream I had. And I have all the back story in my head... And it all makes sense... The problem is trying to get it down on paper...
I am working on it though. Kinda? We'll see.
Fun fact: Sima is an Aramaic name meaning "treasure." Zeke is short for Ezekiel, which has Hebrew roots. That's why he calls Simone, Sima. I picked Sima as a nickname first and then had to find a name that made sense with it as a nickname, but at the same time, not too obvious. :)

Also, this is a working title... Subject to change.

As always,

all praises to the King.]

[Just Musing...] Alignments

Ever taken those personality quizzes on facebook or some other site?

I tend to like those things. Sometimes I get annoyed when the answers obviously fall into one character. That makes it easier for you to answer what you /want/ to be rather than what you are. I tend to prefer the quizzes that make it slightly less obvious. But sometimes, after I've taken the quiz "for myself," I'll re-take a quiz, trying to get all the different outcomes based on the answers. I'll be the first to admit, I'm a strange child.

While taking quizzes one time, I stumbled upon an alignment test. Now, I've never played D&D, but I would like to. And I do role-play from time to time with my friends. (And obviously, I'm a writer). So, this immediately appealed to me and I pretty much just thought it was awesome. Anyway, The first time I took the test, I got Lawful Good. I tried another, similar test and got Neutral Good and have ever since. I mostly agree with it. I'll follow laws and whatnot, but I won't compromise my beliefs for them.

Since the quiz I took was on facebook, I'm not sure how to share that with you, although it was my favorite. So good ol' Google to the rescue! Here are some I took and found to be pretty good. They're a tad long, though I think that makes them more accurate...

Online Alignment Test
What D&D Character Am I? (This has some of the same questions as the previous ones, but set with a more modern theme.)

As always,
All praises to the King!

[Sample] I Am Challenged

To my King:

I am challenged daily

By friends, strangers, peers, superiors.

Why, they ask, do I

Continue to serve You

When it has brought me

Nothing but pain?

I too struggle.

I too doubt.

How much easier

It would be

To just give up this burden and walk freely!

But would I truly be free?

And what?

How would I live,

How would I survive,

Without Your Shield to protect me

And Your Light to guide me?

Would I not be the same as the rest?

Wandering aimlessly,

In the dark.

Lost.

Why should I give up

The One who gave me peace?

The One who saved me!

You who gave shelter

To one as common as I.

Lower than common,

I was a slave.

You paid my price.

I was given to my new Master

Like a piece of property.

But then!

There, for all to see,

You removed my chains

And set me free.

But my King,

You did not stop there.

You pulled me into an embrace,

The likes of which,

I have never before felt.

Why then,

Should I give You up?

As heavy as this burden is,

Would it not be ten-fold heavier

Without You?

As heavy as this burden is,

Am I not grateful

For every day,

For every hour, minute, and second

I bear it?

My King,

I will never cease

To serve You

For as long as I live

I am challenged daily.

[Trying to remember when/how I wrote this... I think I started it as an assignment fall of my high school junior year. But I just started with the "To my King" idea. After that... I dunno, it just flowed out. Turned out to be a foreshadowing of sorts in that I had a real time of trail right after I wrote it. x) I've tweaked it here and there just changing a punctuation mark or so. But otherwise, I like it as is.]

[Review] Dragons: The Essential Ties, Ricardo Chévere

Plot---Borys' parents were mysteriously killed when he was a little boy. He remembers a dragon from that night and, despite what others say, blames it for his parents' deaths. This hate for dragons leads him to seeking out dark magic...

Alanna almost drowns at her father's marina. She lives only because David jumps in the water after her, even though he doesn't know how to swim. Alanna can't understand how she survived, so now she's back in town looking for answers...
[Most of this copied from the back of the book.]

Why I picked it up---My grandmother gave me the book. Apparently it was written by her friend's second cousin's nephew. Or, you know, something like that. Anyway, she saw "dragons" and thought of me. I saw "dragons" and figured I'd like it. I <3 dragons.

What I liked about it---The concept of the plot interested me. And I felt bad for Borys because in the beginning you realize that the dragon is actually good and well yeah. I couldn't wait to get to Alanna's part of the story, for some reason she interested me more.

What I didn't like about it---The writing. I'm sorry, but it was painfully obvious that English was Chévere's second language. It wasn't so horrible that I couldn't understand it or anything. You'd just notice odd syntax and once in a while, and an odd verb tense or something. The story is good... I just can't get past the writing, unfortunately.

Recommendation---Well... Let's just say I couldn't finish reading this one. Which is probably a first. I'm a real stickler on finishing books. I've gotten to chapter 7. I might pick it up later, but I might not. Right now, though, I have other books I would rather move on to that I am fairly sure will be good. This one is going too slow for my taste.
Maybe I will pick it up again on a later date, when I'm in the mood for it.
It's kinda disappointing, I was looking forward to the story.

As always,
All praises to the King.

[Review] The Dead Zone, Stephen King

Plot --- Johnny Smith is a good guy with everything going for him in life. A teaching job he loves and a beautiful girl he loves even more. Then, he gets into a horrible car accident that leaves him in a coma for four and a half years. When he comes out of it, he finds that whenever he touches someone (or in some cases, something) he gets feelings. He knows things he can't know. He sees things he shouldn't see. He can find what once was lost. Soon, he discovers that, perhaps, some things shouldn't be seen and some things are better lost than found...

Why I picked it up --- A while back, I used to watch a show by the same name. Recently, I saw it available on Netflix Instant and have since spent most of my time marathoning through it (Currently on S5:E5 Series completed! Towards the end they took to putting "based on the characters from the novel.").
While watching the opening credits, I saw "based on the novel by Stephen King." Based on the fact that books are always better (with a few exceptions, namely school books that are just too dull to muddle through), I figured I'd try it out. My school library had recently put up a SK display, so I decided to check it out the next time I was there and needed a book (read as: the next day).

What I liked --- The writing style. I love fragments. They. Create. Pace. Plus, it's fun to break all the rules they teach you in English class. I esspecially loved Johnny's visions. I loved the fast pace, the italics, and lack of capitalization. And according to one site, my own writing style is sometimes similar to Stephen's. Go figure. Especially since this is the first SK book I've ever picked up, much less read /brick'd.

What I didn't like --- Most of my dislike for the book can be traced back to my having seen the show first.
For one, I missed Bruce. Although, Sam Weizak sort of filled the comic relief roles near the beginning. Personalities were also different, and of course there were small details changed. I figure that had I read the book first, I'd hate the show. Let's say that the show was based LOOSELY on the book.
It wasn't as surprising or creepy as I was hoping it would be. Again, that's probably due to knowing all the twists and turns of the plot a head of time.
Also, the vulgarity. I don't like cursing in general, but I'll try to ignore it if the good of the book out weighs the bad. As my mom says, eat the chicken, throw out the bone. Of course, in this case it did. Though, a few years earlier, I might have just put down the book. I blame high school.
I was very wary during the (spoiler alert?) one sex scene, but thankfully he didn't go into physical detail and I made it though without incident.
I find it a shame that the only "religious" (pickles, I hate that word) person in the story was a near lunatic and way off base on who/what God is supposed to be. Ah, well.

Overall --- Although I've written more bad than good here, I really did enjoy the book. I just couldn't think of specific good things to write about.

Reccomendation --- [I won't be doing a rating system for these reviews as I am horrible at them (everything would end up being a 1, 5, or 10 and that doesn't really help much). Instead, I'll tell you whether or not I'd reccomend the book and to whom.]
If you're squeamish, then this book might not be for you. It's not graphic or anything, just... unsettling.
But, hey, if you like that feeling as it comes with supsence and whatnot, then go for it!
Same for if you're into the occult (visions and the like).
However, parts of the book get a bit slow and if you're not really interested in the story, you may be tempted to put it down.
The rest is worth reading if you can muddle through the slower parts.

As always,
All praises to the King!

[That is, to Jesus, if you forgot. Notice I avoided referring to Stephen by his last name alone...]

[Sample] To The Newest Erikson

Aiden sighed. Here we go again. This was, what? His sixth foster home? Ever since his parents died three years ago, he’d been in the system. He couldn’t seem to stay in one place for long, which was odd, because it wasn’t like he was a bad kid. It wasn’t really something he could explain.

Aiden sat outside Ellen’s office while he waited for the foster parents to sign all the paper work. What were their names again? Mark and Juliet Harrison? Something like that. Ellen had told him that morning, he just wasn’t really listening.

Aiden glanced down at his backpack. It held everything he owned, besides his clothes. He didn’t really need to keep much. An mp3 player, a portable game console, a few books. He didn’t need much else to keep him entertained. His clothes were in a suitcase or two. The better foster parents would get him more if he needed.

Aiden had just begun to reach for his bag to get the mp3 player, when the door to the office opened. As the couple walked out, the woman, about thirty and shorter than Aiden, smiled and asked Aiden if he was ready to go. Aiden just shrugged, grabbed his backpack, and stood. The foster parents—he really would have to learn their names soon—led him to the car, which already held his suitcases.

The drive home was spent in silence, except for the music on the radio. Aiden was thankful that they didn’t pester him with those loathsome, albeit well- intended, questions. What are your interests? Do you play sports? What do you like to eat? These, of course, would have to be answered eventually. It just always felt strange to Aiden to answer them in a string right off the bat. And since, with the music, the silence wasn’t uncomfortable, Aiden just read or looked out the window.

As they pulled up the house, Aiden took in the details. Two stories. He guessed two or three kids would be able to have their own rooms. Well kept lawn. So, these people weren’t lazy, or else they had the money to hire someone to keep it nice. A lack of toys on the grass assured him that younger children didn’t have the run of the place. The inside was nice. Clean, but not so clean that you worried about touching anything. It was quiet. Then Aiden remembered that school was still in session in this county and any other kids would still be in school at this time of day. He’d gotten out of school a week before in his last home. At least he’d get an extra week or two of summer.

The parents led him up the stairs and stopped at the first door on the right. The man, a little older than the woman and about Aiden’s height, pointed across the hall, saying that it led to the bathroom that Aiden would share with three others.

“But we’ll save the rest of the tour until after you’ve settled in.” He opened the door to what was now Aiden’s room.

The first thing that met his eyes was white. A lot of white. The walls were completely blank and whatever flooring was there previously had been ripped up to reveal the concrete underneath. The furniture was sparse. A simple desk and dresser along one wall. A medium-sized bed in one corner. And finally the closet and windows on the opposite walls.

As he set his bag by the door, Aiden muttered, “This is it?” He’d seen worse, of course. But judging by the car, house, and neighborhood, he’d been hoping they’d spring for a little more… well, more.

They didn’t seem offended by the comment. “Don’t worry it’s only temporary. Once you decide how you want your room, we will get you something more suitable.”

Aiden wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that, but he didn’t ask. When he said nothing, the couple excused themselves and said that they’d be downstairs if he needed anything. As soon as they had left, he closed the door and threw himself on the bed with a sigh. He folded his arms behind his head and closed his eyes, taking a moment to unwind and piece together the events of the day.

When he opened his eyes, they traveled about the room taking in the detail… or lack there of. Presently, they landed on the single spot of color in the room: something taped to the ceiling above Aiden’s bed. Curious, he stood and reached for it, his fingers just brushing the edge. He settled back down into a sitting position, leaning his back against the wall, and turned the object over in his hands. It was a multicolored envelope addressed to The Newest Erikson.

Aiden snorted. The writer obviously meant him, but he fully intended to keep his birth parents’ name, Callahan, thank-you-very-much. His mild irritation didn’t prevent him from opening the rather thick envelope, however. He withdrew a several paged letter as well as several photographs. He laid the pictures aside and began reading.

Dear ______________,

I hope you weren’t blinded too badly by all the white. I told Lia that we should have used an off-white, but she insisted that it’s all part of the experience.

See, Lia and Mac (that’s what we call Julia and Matthew) do things a little differently.

I don’t know about you, but I had been through a few homes before I come here. The first few weeks were always really awkward until the family and I had normal things to talk about.

Aiden nodded to himself. He understood what that felt like. It was part of the reason he was glad the car ride was mostly quiet.

Well, they have a system here to try to make the transition a little easier, since most of us are middle school age or older.

Good. Aiden was starting to get tired of houses full of little kids.

The first month or so that you spend here will be designing your room. You have almost complete free reign. There’s only a few things they’ll object to. For example, I turned this very room into a rainforest, complete with trees, plants, sky, and even a few animals (it took a while to get them right.) We took some pictures before we went over it with white. I also included the pics of Stephen’s (the boy before me) room.

Aiden stopped reading and picked up the pictures. His eyes widened in amazement. Every inch of the walls were covered. Even the ceiling was painted. Aiden was beginning to get excited in spite of himself. He picked up the letter again, turning to the next page.

One point of it all is to give you something to talk about with the rest of the family. But the real point is to give you a few things you don’t usually get in the system—something to call your own and the sense of permanence.

So, seriously, go to town on your room. But definitely take time to think about it.

Aiden’s mind was already spinning with ideas, but he pushed them away for the moment, because there was still more to read.

So, now for the boring stuff: house rules. Everyone has them. Here, there aren’t many besides the standard ones (no drugs, try in school, etc.). Tone of voice is everything here. They like to be sarcastic and joke around. So, have fun, but watch your tone. Say what you will, but say it with respect. You can argue decisions and make your point without getting in trouble as long as you do it with respect. Simple enough, I hope.

The other thing I might tell you about is church. They aren’t gonna force it on you, or beat you over the head with it. They’ll ask that you give it chance. Go for a month or two maybe, ya know?

Aiden was lying on his back at this point, holding the letter over his head to read. He’d been to church before and didn’t really have anything against it; he just found it incredibly boring. Well… some of the stories were interesting and the little kids’ service seemed fun way back when.

And moving on! Next door to your room is Bethany. She’s nice, quiet, shy. But, reach out a little and she’ll be your best friend. I think she’ll be in seventh grade next year.

Down the hall and to the left is the twins' room. Well, we call them twins. Jordan and John spend all of their time together playing videogames, creating stuff, running around, and creating general havoc. They’re gonna be freshman in the coming year, but you’d think they were still in second grade.

Zane’s room is downstairs. He’s actually Mac and Lia’s. Surprisingly cool for having his house invaded by strangers. But as I understand it, he pretty much grew up with this set up, so you’d think after seventeen years, he’d be used to it. He’s graduating next year, so even if he is a pain, you won’t have to deal with him for long.

Lia and Mac are downstairs too, in the back, behind the kitchen. So stay quiet when you get your midnight snacks, haha.

Okay, a little about me and then I’ll let you tend to those plans that I know are so desperately piling up in your head.

I’m Lily. I graduated this year after spending most of my high school years with the Eriksons. I’m so grateful I got put here. I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s the truth. Life here can be fun, if you let it. I wish you luck and hope you enjoy your time here.

If you need anything, I’m sure Lia can give you my information if you want it. Good luck again. Sincerely,

Lilly Erikson.

Wow was all that Aiden could think. The family sounded different, but interesting. Matthew and Julia, or Mac and Lia, sounded like people he could get along with. Maybe even relate to. Aiden looked around the room one more time, mentally painting the walls in his mind. He still wasn’t sure what design he would go with yet, but he sure couldn’t wait to figure it out. Aiden smiled for the first time since the Eriksons picked him up. He could get used to living with this family.

[I couldn't really think of anything else to use this for, so I might as well post some of my writings.

This one is kind of based on how I might imagine my life to be like later.

Er, let me explain.

I've toyed with the idea of starting a foster home, should my husband be willing. My mom has always been different. She relates to kids and kids relate to her. My friends are always telling me how they wish she was their mom. I also tend to attract kids who don't have the greatest home life in the first place. More than once, I've wished they could come live with us and be done with it.

I figured maybe, just maybe, I could actually help out some kids who need it.

So I got to thinking about it one day, and this system is more or less what I came up with. Who knows if it would actually work, but eh. There's the back story behind this one. :)]